Binah (binah1013) wrote,
Binah
binah1013

Jesus Christ Reviews The Different Mountain Dew Flavors

Mountain Dew is nectar of the gods. I've always thought so, but it seems Jesus agrees!

http://whatwouldjb.blogspot.com/2006/08/mountain-dew-reviews.html

Evidently nobody had stumbled upon this website. I hit the "I like it" button and StumbleUpon informed me that I was first to review it and would I like to submit it? Oh hells yes.

I'm sure you're asking yourselves, "WTF was Binah doing there?" I'm glad you asked. I stumbled upon 7 Soda & Candy Bar Combinations You've Probably Never Tried. Just another day in the StumbleUpon neighborhood. In the vaguely disgusting combo descriptions, the author does a good job of describing the taste of the sodas and candies. For instance...

Dr. Pepper Consistency: 23 fruit flavors with a sprinkle of Robitussin

Heh, I can agree with that. Barq's Root Bear is described as "burnt honey with a bit of a kick". Other sodas are given evocative descriptions. And then I think, "Hey, didn't they do Mountain Dew? I'm awful at describing the tastes of soda. Let's see what this dude said!"

Mountain Dew Consistency: Words cannot describe it. Hell, full blown sorcery couldn't even fucking do it justice. It's that good.

It's completely beside the point if I agree. Completely! Where's my taste description! I must have others' words to help me crystallize my impressions!!1!!1! Yes, I know it's "citrus", but so is Sprite and the Dew makes Sprite look like a $5 whore. God help me, but I decided to Google "mountain dew flavor favorite" in the hopes of finding another rhapsodizing over the Mountain Dew taste that gives a more precise description than awesome.

That's when I found out Jesus was a fellow fan. However, he added little to the discussion beyond the fact there's a Mountain Dew river running through Heaven. Though, his comments on the other Dew flavors are worth taking in.

I think I see the Monty Python Colonel coming to tell me I'm being entirely too silly. Best I'd be off then.
Tags: mountain dew, stumbleupon
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