Binah (binah1013) wrote,

Cynically Amused By Fate

It's been in the news for awhile, but I have to admit that I'm a bit amused by the reality star murder-suicide. That sounds morbid, but stay with me here.

Presumably, reality contestant millionaire husband becomes enraged with his swimsuit model wife in L.A. He beats and strangles her. He freaks out about what he's done and how to avoid being caught. He doesn't go the traditional route of burying her in a shallow grave in a remote location. Sure, it's worked for homicidal drifters for years, but I guess the guy didn't want to do all that driving.

Somehow, the husband thinks the better route is to undertake the grisly task of removing his wife's teeth and fingers to keep police from identifying her. Then he stuffs her in a suitcase and drops her in a dumpster.

If you weren't traumatized by the fact you killed your wife, I would think REMOVING THE TEETH from a CORPSE would do it. Just saying that sounds like hard, gross work. But what do I know? I'm just saying that a long drive with a shovel and corpse in the trunk seems preferable.

Whew! Job done! But wait, the cops find the body fairly quickly. But that's okay, the douche presumably thinks. They won't be able to identify the body. The coast is clear... 'till they identify the body by the serial numbers on her BREAST IMPLANTS!

:insert dramatic accusatory music here:

The douche's suicide in Canada a few days later is practically anti-climatic. Though, I gotta say he didn't pick the easiest route to do that either. He hung himself with his belt in a hotel room closet. That's a prisoner's suicide. Why not just buy a gun and blow your brains out at home? Slit his wrists in the bath? He didn't do much traveling to cover up the crime, but went hundreds of miles to hang himself on his own belt in a closet.

So yeah, tragedy. We've heard so many similar tragedies that I'm jaded. However, the odyssey that this dirtbag millionaire reality tv contestant went through? Dark comedy.

Best of all for this famewhore? He's been pushed off the news cycle by Michael Jackson. Somehow, MJ is still dead with the added bonus that someone might be charged with murder. *shakes head*

I'm cynically amused.

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