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Yet another bizarre turn of phrase

Levin asked Hilton about such comments as, "Paris is just an overused human condom," "Paris is like a fart in a mitten. You know it's there, you can't stand it, but you can't get rid of it," and "Would you please drop over dead or commit suicide you damn slut."

The whole paragraph was worth quoting just for the amusement factor. Evidently Ms. Hilton is upset about what people say about her on the internet. She ought to watch "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." Ben Affleck would straighten her right out.

But what the heck is this "fart in a mitten" business? Who SAYS that?

My brain wants to change the phrase to "fart of a kitten", which is very wrong thought indeed. I don't think I've ever been around a kitten that let one rip that I actually noticed. Okay, back to stinky mittens. I question how a mitten got farted into it. That would take some planning. One is usually not accidently in a position to be strategically holding a mitten open-side over one's butt while farting.

And then, there's the whole issue of what "in" mean? (Oh how Clintonesque!) If the mitten got farted upon, would it have fart IN a mitten or ON it?

Googling the phrase, I get an alternative meaning.

Prince Edward Island Sayings - Prince County:
“Running around like a fart in a mitten.” Anxious, overworked, acting at random with little effect.

Not nearly as amusing and even more illogical. Do farts run around? I thought they just expanded until they dissipated. At least the Paris quote makes some sense in the stinking up a mitten for awhile kinda way.

I guess this exercise in boggling over a phrase will get me over my dislike of the word fart. Without the stinky connotations, it's a perfectly nice word. If it meant something else, I'd probably quite like it. F is a nice soft letter, and art is a nice solid word. Heh, the French would pronouce it "far". Not that I'd be interested in an object f'art. *snerk* I'm such a 12-year old sometimes. C'est la vie!

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